At times, our fear of displeasing our parents results in our actions that might be pleasing to our parents, but are displeasing to Allah. Sometimes, our parents just don't know any better, as to what Allah swt wants or has commanded. We owe it to ourselves to find out what Allah swt wants , and then we need to make sure that pleasure of Allah comes before the pleasure of our parents (if our parents don't know any better).
We need to follow the islam of Allah, not the version of islam of our parents (if it's twisted and strayed from the real islam). Because if we do the latter, we'll be no different than the arabs who didn't accept islam and claimed they'll stick to the religion of their forefathers.
Granted there will be emotional blackmail by parents that our actions will result in the anger of our parents, but it is at that time, when we need to ensure that what Allah swt is asking for and what our parents want are one and the same thing. IF it is not, then Allah's pleasure takes precedence. Otherwise, what will result is our own twisted version of islam that we see sadly see prevalent in Pakistan....
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Little Madinah
here's the link to the Friday sermon in audio format that will give you the insight as to what prompted the formation of the city.
goto my website and goto the link for sermon dated 12/31/10.
www.amerraza.com
goto my website and goto the link for sermon dated 12/31/10.
www.amerraza.com
want a happy relationship if you're miserable ?
First thing's first.
your mate / spouse is your mirror. what you're getting is exactly what you're giving out to the world. If he/she is an asshole to you, rest assured, you're feeling like an asshole within and giving that vibe out.
now you might be saying, you're not physically abusing your mate yet being done so, well in that case i would suggest to take a look at your behavior and be true to yourself. are you sure you're not emotionally abusing your spouse ?
your mate is a mirror. keep repeating that. it's law. It's the law of attraction.
if you want love, you need to give love. that's it. there's no more to it.
if you feel your mate has cheated with you, think back, did you not withold love before the cheating occured ?
if you say your mate is not there for you, then are you there for him/her emotionally ?
if you want love, then love first.
if you want honestly, be honest first.
if you want loyalty, be loyal first.
if you feel you need help, email me.
desihitch@hotmail.com
www.humsufur.com
happy relationships and happy marriages !
your mate / spouse is your mirror. what you're getting is exactly what you're giving out to the world. If he/she is an asshole to you, rest assured, you're feeling like an asshole within and giving that vibe out.
now you might be saying, you're not physically abusing your mate yet being done so, well in that case i would suggest to take a look at your behavior and be true to yourself. are you sure you're not emotionally abusing your spouse ?
your mate is a mirror. keep repeating that. it's law. It's the law of attraction.
if you want love, you need to give love. that's it. there's no more to it.
if you feel your mate has cheated with you, think back, did you not withold love before the cheating occured ?
if you say your mate is not there for you, then are you there for him/her emotionally ?
if you want love, then love first.
if you want honestly, be honest first.
if you want loyalty, be loyal first.
if you feel you need help, email me.
desihitch@hotmail.com
www.humsufur.com
happy relationships and happy marriages !
Save your family or think about what others would say ?
Alhamdulillah, helped a family yesterday from splitting up.
Kind of classic desi feud living in states. They have a two year old son, and their marriage was having ups and downs.
The girl has her family support and she seems to get advice about everything from her mom. The guy gets advice from his mom. Their families are both in pakistan, yet living in pakistan the parents feel they can run their usa lives from abroad. which they have been for 4 years. three days ago the girl's mom advised her that if the guy's not running in hoops around her pinky she should start threatning him with calls to 911. well that went on for two days and then the girl ended up calling the police, falsifying the claim she was being abused.
oh well... the whole saga continued, the restraining order, the girl and their kid staying at one of the guy's friends for two nites.
thank Allah the guy who was hosting the girl got intouch with me.
after a whole day of talking to the couple both seperately and together, it turned out they were both more concerned about what "others" would now think if they got back together cause others seemed to matter more now that they had split.
At the end, i made them realize that they should screw the others, friends familieis, who are calmly sleeping in their own beds and won't care a hoot about what is going in their lives.
12 hours of sanity therapy, and they're back together Alhamdulillah.
moral of the story is, if you are married, think about your own marriage rather than caring about what others think of your marriage. and save it !
Girls, before you call 911, know this, you'll be screwed more than the guy in the long run.
I say this to the girls because guys usually don't call the police asking the law to wreck their families and hand it over to the courts in a platter to be shattered. The guys are stupid just not THAT stupid.
Here's the funny part, the family who advised the wife to call the police is the one who backed out when it was time to take care of the girl and the kid to shelter and provide for. The girl realized that afterwards but it was too late. Girls usually need support and advice before they go ahead with such a big decision of calling the police. in 99% of the cases its their mother who say "go ahead we have your back". well after they're divorced and living with their moms again with the kid, it's their own mother who start forcing her to go out and find someone else to marry and get out of their house. well if that's the case why not let her stay with the current husband ?
happy marriages !
Kind of classic desi feud living in states. They have a two year old son, and their marriage was having ups and downs.
The girl has her family support and she seems to get advice about everything from her mom. The guy gets advice from his mom. Their families are both in pakistan, yet living in pakistan the parents feel they can run their usa lives from abroad. which they have been for 4 years. three days ago the girl's mom advised her that if the guy's not running in hoops around her pinky she should start threatning him with calls to 911. well that went on for two days and then the girl ended up calling the police, falsifying the claim she was being abused.
oh well... the whole saga continued, the restraining order, the girl and their kid staying at one of the guy's friends for two nites.
thank Allah the guy who was hosting the girl got intouch with me.
after a whole day of talking to the couple both seperately and together, it turned out they were both more concerned about what "others" would now think if they got back together cause others seemed to matter more now that they had split.
At the end, i made them realize that they should screw the others, friends familieis, who are calmly sleeping in their own beds and won't care a hoot about what is going in their lives.
12 hours of sanity therapy, and they're back together Alhamdulillah.
moral of the story is, if you are married, think about your own marriage rather than caring about what others think of your marriage. and save it !
Girls, before you call 911, know this, you'll be screwed more than the guy in the long run.
I say this to the girls because guys usually don't call the police asking the law to wreck their families and hand it over to the courts in a platter to be shattered. The guys are stupid just not THAT stupid.
Here's the funny part, the family who advised the wife to call the police is the one who backed out when it was time to take care of the girl and the kid to shelter and provide for. The girl realized that afterwards but it was too late. Girls usually need support and advice before they go ahead with such a big decision of calling the police. in 99% of the cases its their mother who say "go ahead we have your back". well after they're divorced and living with their moms again with the kid, it's their own mother who start forcing her to go out and find someone else to marry and get out of their house. well if that's the case why not let her stay with the current husband ?
happy marriages !
How to avoid conflicts in marriage
Easier said than done, I understand. But then again this really is the resolution to all conflicts.
In the 'he said she said' scenario, let's face it no one wins. Even if you make a point the other is left frustrated and the issue remains unresolved for the other. Instead of making points trying to prove your side, it's best that both simply refrain for making the personal opinions count and try to validate them.
Best is, to consult Quran and Sunnah. See what Allah swt has said about that matter, and then simply say. Let's agree upon the fact that neither of our points shall be followed. Whatsoever is said in the Quran and hadith let's follow that. Now that can fall in favor of either or parties. But the point is, both parties will have the peace of heart and mind that the followed the right path and that they resolved the issue to the best that it should've been.
May Allah swt guide us all, and may Allah swt make all our marriages last in this duniya and the here after. Ameen. !
In the 'he said she said' scenario, let's face it no one wins. Even if you make a point the other is left frustrated and the issue remains unresolved for the other. Instead of making points trying to prove your side, it's best that both simply refrain for making the personal opinions count and try to validate them.
Best is, to consult Quran and Sunnah. See what Allah swt has said about that matter, and then simply say. Let's agree upon the fact that neither of our points shall be followed. Whatsoever is said in the Quran and hadith let's follow that. Now that can fall in favor of either or parties. But the point is, both parties will have the peace of heart and mind that the followed the right path and that they resolved the issue to the best that it should've been.
May Allah swt guide us all, and may Allah swt make all our marriages last in this duniya and the here after. Ameen. !
Free our women !
Become the person who helps those in need.
In Pakistan today there are, in the red light district of Lahore, thousands of young women who have been victims of trafficking, kidnapping, and abduction. These young and old alike, are forced into prostitution and have been forced to accept that life style without choice !
We can iA do something about this. As Gandhi said, Be the change that you want to see in the world. I am asking everyone around the world to join hands with me to help save these young souls who are someone's daughters, sisters, and mothers....
We can make a difference. Let us start today, let us do the right thing. Amen !
The program:
1. To establish funds to help get the women out of the brothels by providing them the means of alternate employment. Even small things such as a sewing machine, can aid a lady in poverty forced into proposition by making her living by alternate means.
2. To create shelter homes for those who want to abolish the streets of filth, and start fresh.
3. To create school funding for the young children being brought up in the red light areas. Providing education to the youth in these areas will ensure they grow up to become the rightful citizens of the society with education as the power behind them !
4. To gather the many NGO's already operating in Pakistan and the Government officials on one platform to collectively aid in this.
5. I have a vision to iA complete this project by the year 2011. Together we can make this happen inshaAllah!. Amen.
here's the website link.
http://www.freeourwomen.com
In Pakistan today there are, in the red light district of Lahore, thousands of young women who have been victims of trafficking, kidnapping, and abduction. These young and old alike, are forced into prostitution and have been forced to accept that life style without choice !
We can iA do something about this. As Gandhi said, Be the change that you want to see in the world. I am asking everyone around the world to join hands with me to help save these young souls who are someone's daughters, sisters, and mothers....
We can make a difference. Let us start today, let us do the right thing. Amen !
The program:
1. To establish funds to help get the women out of the brothels by providing them the means of alternate employment. Even small things such as a sewing machine, can aid a lady in poverty forced into proposition by making her living by alternate means.
2. To create shelter homes for those who want to abolish the streets of filth, and start fresh.
3. To create school funding for the young children being brought up in the red light areas. Providing education to the youth in these areas will ensure they grow up to become the rightful citizens of the society with education as the power behind them !
4. To gather the many NGO's already operating in Pakistan and the Government officials on one platform to collectively aid in this.
5. I have a vision to iA complete this project by the year 2011. Together we can make this happen inshaAllah!. Amen.
here's the website link.
http://www.freeourwomen.com
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Muslim american marriages. how to prevent divorces ?
You find the perfect person, you fall in love. A year of dating more or less (because you feel that's adequate to "get to know" the person), and then you get married.
Typical love story for Muslims living in the united states. Don't deny it, you know it happens, we just cover up the minor details of the dating business and what not :)
Anyways, so now its time to get married. Hopefully when both the bride and groom are Muslims the nikah is performed. I say hopefully because these days I'm seeing marriages between sikhs, hindus, Muslims you name it and it's happening. Nikah is usually done at the mosque or at times at home with families involved. Some mosques have registered themselves therefore the nikah papers serve as the court certified marriage papers as well.
Under other circumstances, the nikah is done and then the bride and groom go to the court house to have a court marriage done. This is done because under the laws of the land it's required to validate the marriage.
So far so good.
Now let's say down the road the couples seem to incur differences that are simply not reconcilable. That leads to divorce. These days the percentage of divorces in Muslims marriages is really close to 50%. Why is that?
Simple reason, because the American laws have made divorce the easier path to take. Look at the people who went through divorce in the states. Almost always the divorce is filed by the girl and not the guy. Because the girl wants out. Fine, that's her choice. But while the marriage was performed according to Islamic law, Nikah, the divorce always ends up through American law and not Islamic law. Reason is simple. The Islamic law doesn't give the girl the division of property and the rights that American laws do. In shariah (Islamic law) the Mahar is set and so are the monetary conditions that the girl should receive if she wants to end the marriage. American law however grants the girl 50% share of all assets, money, child custody, the freedom of living in the house once owned by both partners, living the liberal lifestyle that caused the divorce to begin with ( in some cases) and so forth.
The point being made is that American law, at times, has made it easier for the girl to get a divorce and live a better life than staying married.
I say by all means exercise the American laws since we live here, however that should not be the case only at the point of divorce. The marriage should take place accordingly as well. by that I mean, that when the nikah is done, part of the nikah should be a prenuptial agreement that get signed before the court marriage takes place. After all that's really the American way to get married. Pre nups look at the interest of both parties if they end up in divorce later. As Muslims, majority of the times the girl and her family will frown upon even the talks of pre-nups and claim that their families would never consider things going as far as divorces and divorce courts. Well, that's OK. If that's the case there should be no harm signing prenups. :)
So guys and girls both, do yourselves a huge favor. Either get married the Islamic way and just have nikah without any court marriages. If however any party insists that court marriage takes place, then before you do so, have a prenuptial agreement signed. Hire an attorney for a nominal fee and go through the proper course of action to ensure that in case of divorce, your legal rights according to American laws are intact.
Happy marriages ! :)
Typical love story for Muslims living in the united states. Don't deny it, you know it happens, we just cover up the minor details of the dating business and what not :)
Anyways, so now its time to get married. Hopefully when both the bride and groom are Muslims the nikah is performed. I say hopefully because these days I'm seeing marriages between sikhs, hindus, Muslims you name it and it's happening. Nikah is usually done at the mosque or at times at home with families involved. Some mosques have registered themselves therefore the nikah papers serve as the court certified marriage papers as well.
Under other circumstances, the nikah is done and then the bride and groom go to the court house to have a court marriage done. This is done because under the laws of the land it's required to validate the marriage.
So far so good.
Now let's say down the road the couples seem to incur differences that are simply not reconcilable. That leads to divorce. These days the percentage of divorces in Muslims marriages is really close to 50%. Why is that?
Simple reason, because the American laws have made divorce the easier path to take. Look at the people who went through divorce in the states. Almost always the divorce is filed by the girl and not the guy. Because the girl wants out. Fine, that's her choice. But while the marriage was performed according to Islamic law, Nikah, the divorce always ends up through American law and not Islamic law. Reason is simple. The Islamic law doesn't give the girl the division of property and the rights that American laws do. In shariah (Islamic law) the Mahar is set and so are the monetary conditions that the girl should receive if she wants to end the marriage. American law however grants the girl 50% share of all assets, money, child custody, the freedom of living in the house once owned by both partners, living the liberal lifestyle that caused the divorce to begin with ( in some cases) and so forth.
The point being made is that American law, at times, has made it easier for the girl to get a divorce and live a better life than staying married.
I say by all means exercise the American laws since we live here, however that should not be the case only at the point of divorce. The marriage should take place accordingly as well. by that I mean, that when the nikah is done, part of the nikah should be a prenuptial agreement that get signed before the court marriage takes place. After all that's really the American way to get married. Pre nups look at the interest of both parties if they end up in divorce later. As Muslims, majority of the times the girl and her family will frown upon even the talks of pre-nups and claim that their families would never consider things going as far as divorces and divorce courts. Well, that's OK. If that's the case there should be no harm signing prenups. :)
So guys and girls both, do yourselves a huge favor. Either get married the Islamic way and just have nikah without any court marriages. If however any party insists that court marriage takes place, then before you do so, have a prenuptial agreement signed. Hire an attorney for a nominal fee and go through the proper course of action to ensure that in case of divorce, your legal rights according to American laws are intact.
Happy marriages ! :)
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