Muslim american marriages. how to prevent divorces ?

You find the perfect person, you fall in love. A year of dating more or less (because you feel that's adequate to "get to know" the person), and then you get married.

Typical love story for Muslims living in the united states. Don't deny it, you know it happens, we just cover up the minor details of the dating business and what not :)

Anyways, so now its time to get married. Hopefully when both the bride and groom are Muslims the nikah is performed. I say hopefully because these days I'm seeing marriages between sikhs, hindus, Muslims you name it and it's happening. Nikah is usually done at the mosque or at times at home with families involved. Some mosques have registered themselves therefore the nikah papers serve as the court certified marriage papers as well.
Under other circumstances, the nikah is done and then the bride and groom go to the court house to have a court marriage done. This is done because under the laws of the land it's required to validate the marriage.

So far so good.
Now let's say down the road the couples seem to incur differences that are simply not reconcilable. That leads to divorce. These days the percentage of divorces in Muslims marriages is really close to 50%. Why is that?

Simple reason, because the American laws have made divorce the easier path to take. Look at the people who went through divorce in the states. Almost always the divorce is filed by the girl and not the guy. Because the girl wants out. Fine, that's her choice. But while the marriage was performed according to Islamic law, Nikah, the divorce always ends up through American law and not Islamic law. Reason is simple. The Islamic law doesn't give the girl the division of property and the rights that American laws do. In shariah (Islamic law) the Mahar is set and so are the monetary conditions that the girl should receive if she wants to end the marriage. American law however grants the girl 50% share of all assets, money, child custody, the freedom of living in the house once owned by both partners, living the liberal lifestyle that caused the divorce to begin with ( in some cases) and so forth.

The point being made is that American law, at times, has made it easier for the girl to get a divorce and live a better life than staying married.

I say by all means exercise the American laws since we live here, however that should not be the case only at the point of divorce. The marriage should take place accordingly as well. by that I mean, that when the nikah is done, part of the nikah should be a prenuptial agreement that get signed before the court marriage takes place. After all that's really the American way to get married. Pre nups look at the interest of both parties if they end up in divorce later. As Muslims, majority of the times the girl and her family will frown upon even the talks of pre-nups and claim that their families would never consider things going as far as divorces and divorce courts. Well, that's OK. If that's the case there should be no harm signing prenups. :)

So guys and girls both, do yourselves a huge favor. Either get married the Islamic way and just have nikah without any court marriages. If however any party insists that court marriage takes place, then before you do so, have a prenuptial agreement signed. Hire an attorney for a nominal fee and go through the proper course of action to ensure that in case of divorce, your legal rights according to American laws are intact.

Happy marriages ! :)

Following Sunnah of beard. ? Done correctly ?

Keeping a beard is sunnah. We all know that. great ! so we try our best to keep it. However, a vast majority of us who follow this sunnah tend to forget that keeping the beard is part of the package that we're supposed to implement.

Whenever we hear about our prophet pbuh, most of the times we hear a mention of him smiling. What is the first thing that we see in the other person when we meet or greet them ? Scholars and scientists have a unanimous decision that it's most certainly the other person's smile or frown. Prophet Mohammad pbuh would always be the first to say Salam and would greet others with a smile on his face. Smiling is a Sunnah. Smiling also has been proven to relax our bodies and lower tension according to scientific research.

Why then is it that, a vast majority of Muslims are very quick to adapt to the sunnah of keeping the beard, but they tend to neglect the most important thing that is part of the sunnah, smile ! ?
The beard of a muslim and the smile on his face is a package deal sunnah. You do one, you should do the other.

Now, I myself have observed that most of the mullahs who have the perfect length beard and have their shalwar's perfectly heightened above the ankles, never show a sigh of smile. They're always super serious, to the point where I've avoided even asking them a question or engaging in conversations with them.

The point of being a good Muslim and following sunnah is to be approachable. So Muslims and non Muslims alike may come up to you, enjoy your company and benefit from the good things you would have to share with them. Islam is about leading by example not dictating by fear.

My prayer to Allah swt is that He enables all Muslims to follow the sunnah of our beloved prophet to "smile" and to have a beard. So that whenever people would look at the muslims with beards, the picture of a pleasant personality, smiling, and approachable would come to mind. Ameen. ! :)

Pakistan Employment Forum

Given the fact that there's no forum related to employment for Pakistan so far, I've taken the liberty to create one. Here those who are already working and know of an open position should post it.
Those looking for a position should post their CV's.

It's one thing to have job boards that are serving the public, but to have a forum and a community where jobs can be shared is a great way to find a position through networking. So create your account and join. here's the link.
http://pakemployment.forumotion.net/